A first time for everything
by Via
Summary: The first time Danny met Martin, he just knew. He came to realise very quickly that Martin didn't. Slash DM.
1. Introduction

Hi,

My name's Aurelia and I'm Belgian. As you may know, we talk French or Dutch in Belgium. This is my first fanfiction in English, I've already written some but I've never dared posting them.

This is a Danny/Martin story so if you don't like it, then don't read.

The first chapter is an introduction to the story.

Reviews are highly appreciated, especially since I'm not writing in my native language. So if you spot any mistake, please let me know.

And now for the formalities:

Title: There's a first time for everything

Rating: R (to be on the safe side)

Disclaimer: "Without a trace" and all his characters belong to CBS and not to me (It's a pity if you ask me, I'd really like to own some of the characters: p).

The first time Danny met Martin, he just knew.

He came to realise very quickly that Martin didn't.

Samantha didn't know either. She hadn't been able to see through the smile, not that Danny blamed her. It was, indeed, a pretty smile. He would know. Danny Taylor had had more than his share of handsome men.

The first time Danny had to change the sheets because of a dream he had about Martin, he had been very upset.

He quickly got used to it.

The first time they fought, Danny almost made a mistake. Almost. Lucky for him, Martin's subconscious made him go away as soon as Danny started invading Martin's personal space, otherwise they really would have had a serious problem.

Danny quickly realised working with Martin would be more difficult than he thought.

The first time Danny saw Martin and Sam go home together, he burst out laughing.

Samantha was in love with their boss. Martin just couldn't love her. But he quickly understood that to everyone's eyes they were the perfect couple, even to their own.

The first time Martin knocked on Danny's door to complain about Samantha, Danny almost yelled at him in frustration. Of course they had problems, it was to be expected but Martin would never understand. So he said nothing and offered him to spend the night at his place. Martin politely refused.

While taking a cold shower, Danny quickly realised that Martin had made the right decision.

The first time Danny lost control, Martin pushed him violently against a wall and ran away.

That's the kind of reaction repressed homosexuality can provoke.

Danny quickly realised everything was gonna change. And not in the good way.

TBC


	2. What had he done?

It took Danny every ounce of power he had not to bang his head against the wall.

What had he done?

He just wasn't responsible for his action.

It was late at night, or maybe early in the morning, he couldn't remember. He and the team had spent their night going through documents. They were working on a tough case. A boy had disappeared without a trace, an 8 year old boy. Medias were all over the story. That's what happens when a boy scout's missing. The public was expecting the FBI to find the boy before it was too late. The bureau knew better, the case was hopeless. The boy had no enemies, the parents had no enemies. There were no clues. Nothing on the phone records, nothing on the boy's computer files. There were absolutely no leads in the case. All of them knew that: Jack, Samantha, Danny, Vivian, Martin. But they just couldn't stand there doing nothing, waiting for the corpse to be found. So they double checked every information, interrogated everyone until the phone ringed.

Jack picked up.

Vivian nodded sadly.

Samantha took her stuff and went home.

Martin stood still, waiting for Jack to hang up and give them the dreadful piece of news he knew was coming.

Danny watched him.

"He's dead".

The case still wasn't closed. The boy had clearly been murdered, but why? It was a mystery.

Jack told them to go home but Vivian insisted on staying.

So, there was only Danny and Martin in the elevator. A very shaken Martin and a very worried Danny.

"Do you need a ride home?" Danny asked, breaking the silence.

Martin looked up.

"I'm alright", he said. "I'm not thinking about the case".

"That wasn't the question" Danny replied.

"Yes it was".

And they went silent again.

"Let me give you a ride", Danny pleaded.

Martin took the offer into consideration; Danny could see the wheels turning in his head.

"I think I need to be alone right now", Martin whispered.

"No you don't".

Danny had almost yelled this one. Martin was starting to get on his nerves. Why did he always shut everybody out? When something was wrong, Danny would always lean on others for support. Martin thought he had to deal with this his problems on his own, and it was slowly destroying him.

"That's why the work gets to you, you keep everything in", Danny added.

Martin wouldn't meet his gaze.

Danny stepped closer to him.

"You can talk to me Martin", Danny said softly.

Martin, who until now had been gazing intensely at his shoes, raised his eyes. A look of pure surprise and dread crossed his face when he realised how close Danny was. He wasn't the only one surprised, Danny hadn't realised either, but here he was, only inches apart from a man he very much liked.

Tension filled the air. Martin couldn't move. Danny felt like he was choking. And we all know what happens when there's no oxygen in the lungs: the brain stops working.

Danny wasn't responsible for his action.

He leaned forward, pressed his lips against Martin's.

That's when the doors of the elevator opened, the sound of it shaking Martin out of his trance.

Danny felt Martin's hands on his chest.

A second later, his back hit the opposite wall.

Martin was gone; he had pushed him away and ran.

When the doors closed, it took Danny every ounce of power he had not to bang his head against the wall.

What had he done?

TBC


	3. The art of apologizing

Danny knew he wouldn't be able to sleep, so he spent the night tidying up his apartment. Something he rarely did. He was doing the dishes when his alarm went off.

Danny considered calling in sick.

It was a bad idea. Danny had never called in sick. Vivian was likely to call an ambulance if he did. He wasn't ready to face Martin. But he had to, sooner or later. So he took a quick shower and put on clean clothes. He decided not to take his car. Walking was Danny's therapy. He put on a coat and a scarf and then set off for work.

Danny had never had any problems with his being gay, so he had some trouble getting people who had.

The first time he realised he was attracted to guys was in High School while fighting with a boy his age. It had been embarrassing, yes, but nothing more, especially because the other boy became his first boyfriend.

High school's difficult. So, they kept their relation secret. Not because they were ashamed of it, but because they knew how narrow-minded kids were. And when they broke up, Danny made sure not to go out with someone from school.

Danny had told his brother he was gay without hesitating. And his brother had been okay with it.

In Law School, Danny used to hit on any guy that caught his eye. He got a lot of respect for his boldness and honesty. He got a lot of guys too.

During his final year, he met this hot guy. He was not only beautiful but also smart and kind. It was Danny's first serious relationship. It also was the last. They spent five month together until one night, the man disappeared. His body was found one week later in a guy's basement. Danny's boyfriend could never hold his tongue. One man hadn't liked the innuendos and had killed him.

Danny drowned his sorrow in a bottle of cheap scotch. Everything went downhill from there. He started wasting his money on alcohol and having sex with strangers in dark alleys. He became addicted and failed his exams.

Then he decided that his life had to get straight (his life, not him). So he applied for a job at the FBI and landed in the missing person unit right after his training. Vivian knew about his homosexuality, Danny had confided in her. Jack also knew, he ran into Danny and his date, a guy from the tech department, in a restaurant. Whether or not Jack had told Sam, he wasn't sure. But Danny didn't picture him as the gossip type.

Then he met Martin. And he became obsessed with him. And now Martin would certainly never speak to him again.

That was the worst part: the fact that Martin also was gay but still unreachable. Because Martin didn't know, or rather he did, but didn't want to. Danny blamed Martin's father. To Victor Fitzgerald, life was like this: a good career, a good family (which means a wife that takes care of everything and doesn't complain, even if her husband's never home) and a big house with a white picket fence. No exception. But it wasn't only Victor's fault. Martin didn't have the guts to stand up to daddy and he used his father as an excuse for not accepting who he was. That's easier, but that doesn't make a guy happier. Martin was clearly not familiar with the concept of happiness anyway.

Danny reached this conclusion as he was entering the office and he realised that it made him angry. That was bad. He'd hoped the walking would help him calm down. Now he just wanted to hit something or someone. And Danny was not good at hiding his feelings, especially strong ones. Martin could get the wrong idea and think Danny was angry because he had run away. Well, it would be the truth but Danny didn't want Martin to know that. It would be the end of their friendship … well, it would be if the friendship was not already ended. Danny didn't know what to think anymore. He didn't know if this was a situation that could be sorted out. Maybe if he told Martin he actually slipped and fell on his lips, everything would be alright?

Hell, Danny was giving himself an headache.

Vivian and Jack were already there, they had probably never left the office. They weren't wearing the same clothes they had when Danny and Martin took off but that didn't mean anything. FBI agents always kept spare clothes in the office. Blood stains, coffee stains, long nights: no piece of clothing was safe at the FBI.

There already was a new picture on the white board. A woman, probably 30 year old, brunette, pretty. Three hours missing, last seen at a gas station, filling up the tank, signs of struggle, witness.

This case was going to be a piece of cake. Nice change.

Samantha and Martin came in. Together. Danny smiled a sarcastic smile. Martin saw.

"Gather round", Jack said "We didn't learn anything from the autopsy performed on the boy this morning. The case is not closed, but we have to drop it. There is a press conference in one hour, Vivian and I will go. Martin, take care of the paperwork. Samantha and Danny, we have another case, the file is on Danny's desk. There's a witness who saw the victim being taken away in a black Mercedes. Go interrogate him. That will be all".

Danny was relieved. No Martin to worry about today. But he wasn't that happy to be teamed up with Sam either. The girl was nice enough, he'd worked with her for years but for obvious reasons, he wasn't keen on spending his day with her right now.

They took Samantha's car, but Danny was driving. Somewhere between the bureau and the gas station, Sam started to speak:

"I think you should talk to Martin"

Danny swerved abruptly, almost knocking a poor pedestrian down.

"What?" Danny asked incredulously after regaining control over himself and the vehicle.

Sam eyed him curiously but quickly picked up where she left off.

"I think he's upset about the kid, but he won't confide in me. Maybe it's because, you know, he's a man and he doesn't want to admit that he's sad. You know, his father used to say feelings were a weakness. Maybe he just needs to talk to a man".

Danny thought Martin needed to do more than talk to a man.

"Maybe I'm not the best person for him to talk to" Danny replied without thinking.

"Why is that?" she asked.

Danny wanted to answer: "Because I kissed him in an elevator so you see I'm the problem, not the solution". But he decided against it, even though he would love to see her reaction to that one.

"Because we're not best friends of anything. If he doesn't listen to you then he certainly won't listen to me".

Danny thought that after this smart answer, Samantha would drop the subject but he was wrong.

"That's not true" she stated, "Martin's always looked up to you. He has always admired your openness. You may not know it but I'm sure he would listen to you."

Danny had to fight the urge to smile. A feeling of mirth made his way to his heart, but the feeling didn't last long. Martin was certainly seeing him in a totally different light today. He had so messed up.

Danny told Samantha he'd try. That made her happy. Danny wouldn't do anything but she didn't have to know that.

The case was quickly solved, as expected. The witness had been a godsend. Not only had he remembered the colour and the brand of the car, but he also had written down the plate number. Danny seriously thought about sending him flowers and chocolates. They found the car in front of an abandoned building where the woman was tied up to a chair, unharmed. They found the kidnapper in a supermarket nearby, buying some adhesive tape.

Danny and Samantha were giving the victim a ride home when Jack called. He congratulated them and gave them the afternoon off. Danny didn't bother to go back to the office; he just got out of the car and went straight home.

Danny wasn't used to having time to waste and he needed to find some activity that would take his mind off things.

He tried watching television, but boredom would inevitably make him think about Martin.

He tried playing basket ball, but playing alone wasn't that much fun.

He tried calling Vivian and buy her dinner but she had other plans.

On his way home from Vivian's, he came into a bar. When he caught himself looking longingly at a bottle of whisky, he decided to end this madness. He almost ran to Martin's place. He knocked several times. Martin wasn't home. So much for Danny's good resolution.

He thought Martin was with Samantha, en headed back home. That's why Danny was very surprised to run into Martin when he stepped into the corridor that leaded to his apartment.

"I was on my way out" Martin said.

It took Danny a few minutes to recover from the shock but he finally got his voice back.

"Why?"

"You weren't there"

"That's a good reason", Danny stated.

"Yeah", Martin agreed.

"You want to come in?" Danny asked.

"I don't know", Martin replied.

"If you want to talk, then maybe it shouldn't be in a corridor where anybody could hear" Danny said, knowing Martin well enough to foresee what decision he would make.

"Okay, let's talk inside".

Danny had guessed right.

So here they were, facing each other in Danny's living room.

Martin decided to break the silence:

"So … I guess I wanted an explanation".

That did it; Danny felt the anger flood right back in. What was there to explain? He had wanted him, he had kissed him. He was gay and very much in love with him.

"What happened?" Martin asked tentatively.

What Danny wanted to answer was: "I kissed you, you idiot! I have feelings for you and I'm acting on it. You should try and do the same someday, you might even enjoy it".

However, what Danny did say was: "I don't know".

"So you're gay".

Danny almost patted him on the back. Finally, Martin was getting it.

"Yeah, I'm gay".

But then Danny realised Martin could freak out, so he added: "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to … I was tired … I didn't know what I was doing. I'm sorry alright? Let's forget about this".

And Martin did want to forget so he immediately agreed, then went for the door.

Things would go back to what they were before the incident. Well, not everything, Danny would have to be extra careful not to scare Martin in any way. He would have to make sure not to do anything stupid, like, say, stop Martin from getting out of his apartment.

But here he was, pressed against Martin's back, his hand keeping the door from being opened.

Lately Danny had had some serious self-control issues.

"Actually I'm not sorry", Danny heard somebody whisper, then realised he himself had said the words.

Martin's hand was still on the doorknob and Danny was grateful for that, because if Martin had moved, he certainly would have punched him. But he wasn't moving, he was barely breathing. And Danny started kissing his neck. Nobody could blame him. Martin was so still, he was worried, he was checking for a pulse. He quickly found out Martin was very much alive, his heart was racing. But he still wasn't moving. And Danny was still very busy exploring Martin's neck.

When Martin tilted his head to give him more access, Danny told himself that this maybe wasn't such a bad idea.

Everything was going fine actually. So Danny took his hand off the door, trusting Martin wouldn't bolt. Which he didn't. Danny quietly thanked god for that, then remembered He certainly wouldn't agree to this. He would pray later, now he was too busy caressing Martin's stomach under his shirt, too busy enjoying the feel of the muscles there twitching underneath his fingers, too busy enjoying the fact that Martin had to lean against the door for support.

Yes, Danny was a busy man.

When, after what seemed like forever, Martin allowed himself to let out a moan, Danny figured Martin was finally done struggling with himself. He let his hand go further down, into Martin's jeans, until his finger came in contact with something hard.

So Martin had thought he was straight. Well that had to convince him otherwise.

Danny chuckled.

He still doesn't understand what happened next. Maybe it was the groping, or the chuckling, or maybe both but very suddenly Martin was opening the door that was no longer kept close by Danny's hand (that had been elsewhere occupied). And very suddenly, he was gone.

Again.

Maybe it had been a bad idea after all.

An apology wouldn't fix this. Nothing would.

Martin was so not going to forgive this.

Danny had messed up again.


	4. One of life's mysteries

Hi everyone, sorry it took me so long to update, I had exams to take. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I'll try to post new chapters sooner.

Thank you so much for your reviews, they are my reason to wake up in the morning (well, that and Enrique Murciano of course).

Good reading  ( Well, I hope it's good :p).

Having cleaned up the entire apartment the night before, Danny found himself short of things to do to forget his own very pathological stupidity.

He decided that watching TV was the best option to get his mind off things; with luck he would fall asleep in front of some lousy movie. Lucky he certainly was because there was "Scary movie" on that night.

-

The only problem when someone falls asleep on their couch is that the alarm clock is sometimes way too far for the said someone to hear it go off.

Indeed, this particular morning, it wasn't the soft music of his alarm that woke Danny up; it was a persistent ringing tone that somehow … vibrated against his thigh?

With a jerk, Danny sat up to realise his cell phone was ringing. He only realised his living room was flooded with light as Jack started barking at him on the phone.

The voice suddenly became softer in his ears, Vivian had taken over, obviously ( Danny could see in his head the image of Jack fuming next to her, dark smoke coming out of his nostrils, both angry at Vivian and at himself for letting her grab a hold of the receiver), but even though the voice was softer and the words gentler, the message she gave him was in substance the same : " Get your ass over here, quick!".

Danny guessed something big was happening, his being late (he looked at his watch) … well, very late, wouldn't normally piss Jack off that much.

-

It took Danny about five minutes to shower and about the same to put on some clean clothes and grab his keys, he raced to the bureau and ran up the stairs all the way to the missing people unit.

When he got there, he first thought he'd stopped at the wrong floor because there were people bustling about all over the place.

Something big had happened.

Except, those people didn't seem busy working, each one of them had paper cups in their hands, they seemed almost… happy.

Certainly Danny had landed in the twilight zone.

He felt more than saw Jack charging towards him like a bull ready to kill.

Danny's eyes were still adjusting to the scene and his ears weren't really functional.

"You heard me?"

"Sorry Jack, what did you day?"

"Where have you been all morning?" Jack asked the harshness of his words made Danny guess this wasn't the first time he had asked during the last five minutes.

"Huh, well, my alarm didn't go off".

It almost wasn't a lie.

"Well, Vivian and I have been working our asses off since dawn to organize this party; we could have used your help. Sam was very disappointed not to see you, she was babbling about having you to thank for her current happiness, yada yada yada, I'll spare you the details. Point is, I hate parties and if I of all people have to suffer, there is no reason why you shouldn't suffer too."

"Party? What party?" Danny asked in bewilderment.

Poor Danny was still not getting it. He looked around the room to try and understand. That's when he saw it, the shiny little thing round Samantha's finger. Before he had time to process the information, she was already in front of him, beaming.

And then he understood.

"I'm engaged".

"To whom" he asked bluntly, hoping that she would answer something like Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise or even (poor girl) Eminem.

"What do you mean? To Martin of course! I sent him to your apartment yesterday, telling him you two had to talk, you know, because he wouldn't talk to me about what was bothering him?"

"Huh, yeah?"

" Well he came back … with a ring ! Isn't it amazing?" Danny could only nod to that.

"I can't thank you enough Danny!" she added, patting his back for emphasis.

Danny pinched himself because this had to be a nightmare, had to. But he was wide awake, so it had to be a joke, right? There was no way Martin would have proposed after what had happened in Danny's apartment. He wasn't that desperate to keep up pretences … or was he? Danny didn't know anymore.

He smiled at Sam (his smile was more of a scowl than anything else but she clearly didn't notice) then excused himself and made a beeline to the bathroom in order to shield himself from the madness of the room.

Once inside, he punched the first wall he could find, regretting it immediately as his knuckles turned red and an excruciating pain made its way up his arm.

It hurt, but it was worth it, he could feel the anger fading away already. He pressed his forehead to the cool tiled wall and inhaled deeply.

That's when he heard the lock of a cubicle being turned.

He hadn't made sure he was alone in there, he obviously wasn't.

He didn't turn around, he stayed right where he was, facing the wall, hoping the intruder would just go and ask no questions.

No such luck, Danny didn't hear any footsteps but he did hear somebody clear their throat.

"Danny …", someone whispered.

Of all the people working at the FBI, it had to be just him.

"Danny are you alright?"

Was it the sincere curiosity in Martin's tone or just the question itself that made those words absurd? Either way, Danny burst out laughing and, still staring at the wall, answered:

"I'm perfectly fine, thank you for asking. I make it a top priority to come here and punch the wall every day".

" Com'on Danny, what's the matter?"

Danny did turn around this time to look disbelievingly at the other man.

"You're kidding right?"

Danny expected him to say "Yes I am" but instead what Martin said was :

"No need to be aggressive, I'm just worried about you".

The fact that Martin sounded so sincere made Danny wonder if he really had no clue. Was amnesia an usual symptom for guys who had just asked a girl they didn't love to marry them? There was no other explanation. Maybe Samantha was an evil witch from hell sent by the Antichrist himself, or a mad scientist who had made experiments on Martin's brain.

"Danny" Martin called, waving his hand before Danny's eyes "You're spacing out".

Danny didn't know how to react so he just said: "I'm tired, that's all".

"You're tired" Martin repeated like he didn't understand, he stayed silent for a minute then furrowed his brow and accusingly added: "But you slept till noon".

"That's right" Danny said, trying to sound clever and convincing, "I slept too much so I'm not fully awake yet".

Martin eyed him curiously for a minute, then he smiled, accepting Danny's answer, and headed to the door.

"Come on, there are drinks in the office, we ought to celebrate".

Then he was out and Danny still couldn't believe what had just happened. He couldn't understand what was going on. He tried to resolve the mystery and came up with three solutions:

One-Martin had been abducted by aliens and replaced by a robot-Martin that was both clueless and straight.

Two-Martin was really, really, and I mean really mental.

Three-Martin was the most evil creature that ever walked the earth, a spawn of Satan, the offspring of Marilyn Manson, a supernaturally mean villain that was created by demons to torment handsome gay men.

The three solutions seemed equally plausible at this moment.

TBC


End file.
